My Soul in Stillness Waits

Almost a week passed between discovering Andrew's miscarriage during an ultrasound and his delivery. That translated into a hard week of waiting.

During that week of I poured myself into doing whatever I could to honor Andrew's life properly.

Clare and Henry both wore handmade baptismal gowns for their Baptism. While at this point in my early pregnancy I was still wrestling with whether or not I would make Andrew a new gown or continue to use Henry's gown for our boys, Clare's gown for our girls--in that week of waiting, I decided that Andrew would have his own baptismal gown--one made with love and hopeful anticipation by his mother's hands.

The hope and anticipation was obviously very different this time around, but I needed to DO SOMETHING for him. I felt the need to demonstrate my intent and desire to be his mother, in the same way that we believe Andrew was baptized by our intent to have done so.

I started with the pattern I had used with Henry's gown, though this time around I added french seams and used the remaining fabric I had on hand from Clare's gown. Admittedly, the gown had many faults--the most major of which was having attached the bodice neck (with a french seam) to the WAIST of the skirt! A few well-placed pin and tucks corrected my error, and in the end Andrew had a beautiful and unique baptismal gown. Not perfect-- but made with much love, many tears, and prayerful conversation with Our Lord , Our Lady, and little Andrew.