Precedent

One reoccurring theme throughout these past weeks has been--
What do I do now?
Why is there no precedent for these circumstances?
Why does no one talk about their miscarriages???

If 15-20% of pregnancies end in the first trimester--why have I never been to a funeral mass to honor those children?

Thankfully we were immediately surrounded by good and holy people who did know what to do, knew how to honor these little saints.

But already in these few short weeks since my own miscarriage, I have encountered much sadness and regret because of this lack of precedent. Women who were not informed about their options or given the opportunity or tools to honor their children with the dignity that they deserved.

Each miscarriage comes with it's own set of circumstances. My miscarriage happened in the first trimester--I was still at my pre-pregnancy weight, wearing my pre-pregnancy clothing. We hadn't yet shouted our news from the rooftops (so to speak.) I had a week to pray and wait and mourn before Andrew was delivered. Two active children to look after kept me focused on the here and now, and kept my thoughts about being "broken" and the other "whys" to a minimum. My husband was supportive--he mourned and prayed with me.

Other miscarriages occur under different circumstances--stillbirths, unsupportive spouses, no children to keep your mind from continually wandering to the what-ifs and whys that inevitably creep into one's thoughts...

These littlest saints! How I hope that other women find the support and care that we encountered--to honor and remember the little lives that leave such a significant impact.