Things to consider...

Consult with physician about your health and that of your baby's--spotting during pregnancy is never normal, but it doesn't necessarily mean that anything is wrong. Trust in God's will, Trust in God's will, Trust in God's will.

Ask your baby and his/her guardian angel to pray for you (for healing, acceptance of God's Will, peace, guidance etc)

Ask the hospital for your baby, or make preparations to deliver your baby at home. From the moment of conception, a new human life has been formed. A new member of your family has been added! For all eternity God has cocreated an eternal soul with you and your husband. Take the necessary steps to ensure that your child is treated as such, and is given a proper burial. This article was very helpful to me as I prepared to deliver Andrew at home, especially the section "Respectful Care of the Couplet During Miscarriage."

Call a Catholic church to have a Mass of Christian burial said for your baby.


Name your baby--It was too early to tell if our baby was a girl or a boy when I miscarried. But we discovered the miscarriage on the feast of St Blaise, and I thought the name was gender neutral enough (to the ear anyway!) But Karl didn't care for Blaise as a first name. Instead he had been thinking about the name "Andrew" throughout that day. We later discovered that the day following our ultrasound (Feast of St Blaise,) the day that Karl had been thinking "Andrew" all day, was the feast of St Andrew Corsini.


Arrange to give your child a proper burial--call a cemetery, choose a casket or other burial vessel, headstone/epitaph. I did a whole lot of googling before finding the phrase from Dante's Inferno: In His will is our peace. Pope Benedict had recently used that quote during his visit to the USA, we've adopted it as our motto for this experience. We couldn't decide which particular date to put on the headstone (conception, ultrasound, delivery????) so we chose February 2009--the month and year we discovered the miscarriage, Andrew was delivered, and in which the funeral was held.

Funeral Luncheon-I didn't know who to invite to the funeral mass, or who would actually attend. I was sure that some people would be traveling to attend the mass and service and I wanted to have a meal prepared. Some parishes will provide this luncheon for you so ASK your priest when making arrangements. [We purchased two flats of bottled water, coffee and filters, styro cups, plastic cups, napkins, plates, fresh fruit and made four 2-ft long cold cut sandwiches the night before] CONSIDER ASKING A FRIEND TO DO THIS FOR YOU IF YOUR PARISH DOES NOT OFFER THIS SERVICE

Consider asking for/receiving help--don't be afraid to accept gifts of meals/childcare from friends and family. Support of loved ones is a wonderful blessing. You're not being greedy or taking advantage--they are being generous and rightfully concerned for your well-being. Karl's sister watched Henry for two days when delivery became imminent and then she brought him to the funeral (dressed and clean :) ) Friends offered to set up a meal calendar for us [which I refused because physically I felt very well,] but in retrospect I could have used the help--if nothing else to recuperate from the emotional drain of the previous week.